Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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