So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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