Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
