i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
If I die, sorry about rent.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
