i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
