It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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