any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
