ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
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