She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
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i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
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I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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