I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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