I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
