my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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