So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
