You can't motorboat a personality
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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