On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
