i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
