The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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