I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
