pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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