Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
