Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
