I CAN MOONWALK!
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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