i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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