Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
