Where did you get a picture of my penis
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
