So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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