Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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