this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
