well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
