We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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