I wish I could punch you in the face.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
