look no pants
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
