It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
