is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
