I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
