Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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