Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
