I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I'm bleeding and have questions
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
