So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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