Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
