I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
