i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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