if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
