My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
