The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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