I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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