I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
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The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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