she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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