i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
He? As in you personified your dick?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
