Non-Jews are for practice
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
