my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize