Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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