If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
