I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize