She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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