im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i believe in u and ur pee
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
