I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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