I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
