I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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