I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
This baby is an asshole
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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