Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
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All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize