is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
