All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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