just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Randomize
