Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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