ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
