Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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