She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
How's work?
Spinning.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
