she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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