so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
