oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
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Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
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I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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