I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
you never un-have a 4some
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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