Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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