Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just cut my nipple shaving
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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